On Setting Goals

I had thought I could make this the year where I didn’t have any goals I was focusing on, a year of freedom from checking things off the list.

Turns out, by not setting goals I lost all sense of direction and I need direction. I have realized I can’t live this way, as I find myself trapped in a cycle of laziness.

So I am changing my mind, as I am allowed to do, by setting some goals for the remainder of 2014.  Typically I like to focus on 10 or so goals a year, sometimes there are fewer or more depending on what I want to trying to accomplish in any given year.

Here are 2014’s goals

  1. Lose weight –   I actually hate putting this as a goal because I think society focuses on appearances far too much, but I need to get to a healthy weight otherwise my life will be cut short. I always want to do the things that my weight stops me from doing such as running or surfing or kayaking.
  2. Limit screen time – I spend close to 18 hours of my day in front of the computer or tv or iPhone or iPad, 8-10 of which are work related. The rest is just the mind numbing escape from a reality I don’t want to face.
  3. SPHR and PMP – I want to sit for and pass the SPHR and PMP exams as it will strengthen the credibility I have in my career
  4. Exercise daily – this goes in line with #1, nothing excessive or crazy.  Just 60 minutes of walking or swimming will go along way in my weight loss achievements and my sanity.
  5. Dairy, chips, and soda – I eat dairy products and immediately regret it when my stomach starts churning, chips and soda are my go to feeling low foods.  All three need to be removed from my diet.  By far this will be my hardest goal to achieve.
  6. Pay off car loan and credit card debt – Almost there on this one, about 6 months to go until the only debt I have are student loans and mortgage.  Student loans will be tackled next.
  7. Visit my nephew each time I am home – I love that little guy, and I want to make sure he knows his Auntie Melissa loves and adores him even if she is off traveling the world.
  8. Finish MAPP classes – I had to put a pause on the adoption classes 😦 because of the amount I travel for work, I want to finish them by the end of 2014.
  9. Investments – I want to up my financial security and investments game, my 401k is healthy but I want to do more to ensure I can retire when I want to.
  10. Inadequacy – I need to deal with always feeling inadequate, I know where it stems from I just don’t know how to not feel this way.  I am going to seek out the help I need to move past it.

All of these are very achievable once I focus on them.  Excited to see where the remainder of 2014 brings me.

Did You Know

That in many public libraries in the state of Massachusetts there is a book filled with pictures of children waiting for their forever home.

Picture upon picture upon picture.

My home study went well, I have room enough for four children.

I will make sure that book has four fewer children in it when I am done with this process.

Four kids who will be loved for who they and who they will become. Not only by me, but by my family and friends.

They will have warm beds and full bellies, hugs and kisses, whatever therapeutic help they will need.

Those four, whomever God decides to entrust in my care, will know they are safe, secure, and loved.

Wedding Dreams

Last night while I slept I dreamt of myself getting married and most vividly the wedding itself, for the record I am currently single and never been married.  When I was younger I had this dream frequently, the dress, the ceremony, the faceless groom. 

Last night the dream was similar, the details were so vivid. I was the version of myself that I long to be (healthier, fit, strong), wearing a beautiful v-neck lace gown that hugged by curves just so while still being modest, the ceremony was in an old, candle light church with stain glass windows.  The pews were filled with people who make up the story of my life: mom, dad, brother, aunts, uncles, friends from across the globe and of course the people who made up the story of the groom’s life. 

The dream always ends the same, I am walking down the aisle toward mine groom who has his back towards me.  When I am about halfway down he turns around and is faceless, always faceless. 

Last night he turned around, only instead of being faceless there was a familiar face, one that I have known and loved for years. 

Now, I don’t know or believe that this means he is the one I will marry one day, but maybe it will happen.  He has been an important part of my life for as long as I can remember, yet we just can’t quite pair up romantically.  

I searched weddings on dreammoods.com, reading that a wedding signify a transitional phase or coming to terms with change. That context makes perfect sense to me knowing what is going in my life. 

I still hope that one day that I get to wear the lace dress, walk down an aisle filled with friends and family to find him waiting there for me. 


2014 Goals

This year I resolve to do nothing. I am just not making any goals or resolutions. I want to be free of any sort of expectation that I place on myself.

The only item on my agenda for 2014 is adoption, and it’s a process I have very little control over. I will do what is needed and required, but the rest I am placing in God’s and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts’ hands.

My heart is ready, my house is ready.  I will not over think it or stress about it.

First up are the MAPP classes, which begin on Tuesday, January 7th.